So imagine you’re doing a jigsaw puzzle. A nice one, that will have a beautiful panoramic picture as your finished product.
Imagine this puzzle has approximately 10,000 little bitty pieces. Picture this – you are sitting at your “puzzle table” on a Friday afternoon. You’ve been working hard all week getting the puzzle ready for the hard slog ahead – you’ve sorted the pieces into colors, found all the edges, have a comfortable work space set up. So you leave the puzzle table, ready to start work on Monday morning. When you come back to your puzzle table – not only are all of your pieces mixed back up – you’ve suddenly got the impression that the pieces may not all go to that puzzle – or that the picture may not be the right one – and in any case, the pieces have been rescrambled, and hopelessly confused. You’ll have to start again.
That’s kind of how today left me feeling. I had a beautiful weekend – filled with farmer’s markets and sunshine; sewing and painting; laundry and yardwork. The kind of perfect balance between productivity and relaxation that lets you believe that you actually do have your life under control, and that you are not the kind of girl that spills ice cream on her face. In front of the new boss. (long story). After waking up from the kind of deep peaceful sleep that has you wake up in an actual good mood – before coffee!
And then I got to work. I love my office. I love my job – but today was crazy. The first hour was great – said hello, checked my email, got all organized, good to go. The second hour was good too – a really constructive conversation that moved a relationship forward in a really positive way. After that – all crazy. The meeting I ran for two hours totally missed the mark in terms of outcomes. Stuff that should have taken 10 minutes took 40. I went in intending to gain clarity, and left alarmed at the confusion I am sensing. I just sent a panicky email to my bosses – hoping that they will either a) talk me down and tell me I’m crazy – a la Taylor “Brianne, it’s the second day. It can’t be that bad already.” or b) tell me my instincts are good and then tell me how to fix this problem. (Probably to the tune of – you’re right, your instructions are not clear. You’re going to have to admit you made a mistake and then fix it). Ah well.
In other news – I am particularly proud of myself in that I have been taking better care of myself in many ways. Beginning at about 6pm on Thursday – I have not had one particle of wheat. I did not go to the food court today. I ate a fresh peach with my breakfast and did not die. I ate a large salad as part of my dinner, with no allergic effects. I have eaten two tomatoes over the last two days. All this to say that I am really making an effort here – to not have one cheat meal over the weekend is quite an accomplishment, and it will be interesting to see if I make it through the week.
I will have to remind myself that all is not last, that one bad meeting does not make me the embodiment of my worst nightmare, and that “tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it”.
I leave you with a picture of my beautiful city – taken from a rooftop at sunset. Ah, Milwaukee – you always make me smile.